On scale of 1-10 what number would you give yourself when it comes to struggling with feeling like good enough never is?
This “simple” quote can apply in so many areas of your life. Maybe you’re fully aware that nothing ever seems good enough or maybe this concept sneaks up on you from time to time without you even noticing.
for the perfectionist in me, GOOD ENOUGH NEVER IS
Monday morning I was on a mindset call with a group of my most favorite virtual colleagues, and we were discussing this very quote, “Good enough never is…”
At first, I thought this quote just applied to perfectionism. However, I was soon proven wrong. As our discussion evolved, it was interesting to see how each of us saw this quote show up differently in our lives. Listening to others and reflecting more on my own life, I became aware of how this quote can be so true for me.
“Good enough never is…” can hold a different meaning or understanding for each of us. Maybe for you, it sums up your efforts to eat healthier, exercise more, prepare for the holidays, or just juggling all the events that come with the holidays.
For me, “good enough never is” resonates with me when it comes to achievements. This is something I have struggled with most of my life, but I am just now understanding in the last couple of years the impact it has on me, whether good or bad. You know, I find myself in this funny cycle of finding balance with this struggle then finding myself back in that familiar place again…feeling like my achievements aren’t good enough.
Being A Healthy Achiever is about Finding Balance
As I said earlier, being an achiever isn’t a bad thing, it’s about finding balance and learning to have a healthy relationship with the need of feeling successful.
My need to feel accomplished and successful is important and can show up in many areas of my life. Most recently I have found the feeling of, “good enough never is”, to show up in the sneakiest way through my to-do lists…(I have way too many of them). I’ll make one for the day with 10-15 to-do’s.
More days than not there are still items left unchecked. I lie in bed thinking about all the ways I will achieve that list tomorrow and what I could have done differently today to have successfully crossed off all my “to-do’s”.
While it’s important to recognize behaviors within ourselves, it’s even more important to understand the why. What is that underlying belief or factor that can help drive change? What is the motivation behind what we do or what we are hoping to go after? Discovering your WHY is essential in creating lasting change.
Looking Into the Why
As a health coach, I help people discover their why all the time. I think it’s important to practice what I preach. So to heed to my own advice I have been thinking about what is my WHY.
This is the “why” that I have come to. Achieving, in my head, seems to define my value and worth. When I feel accomplished through my achievements, I feel like I have become “good enough.”
If I just get it all done, then:
If I achieve it all, then I will be good enough
This is my false belief. While identifying this as my false belief is a great start, I still have work to do. It’s important that I take small steps to develop a healthier relationship with achieving and getting those tasks done.
Does any of this resonate with you? I find that answering these questions can help get me back on track and maybe it will help you to.
Here are a few other analogies and strategies that I find helpful in prioritizing my day.
Something my business partner often reminds me of is the rock, pebble and sand analogy. These are all the things you have to do, and they all have to fit in a jar. If you put all the rocks in first, then the pebbles, and the sand last, everything will fit.
If you miss a few specs of sand … no big deal.
We must first decide what are the most important items, the rocks.
Don’t accidentally put your less important sand ahead of your rocks. Take care of the rocks in your life and let the sand fall into place just where and how it’s meant to.
I find it helpful to just choose a few important things to get done for the day. By doing this I tend to be able to actually cross those items off the list, and go to bed feeling accomplished.
This is important because it creates more successful experiences and allows our minds to have something to go back to and build upon when faced with something challenging in the future. It’s like building blocks of success in our lives. Small blocks, one at a time, eventually make a solid brick wall.
How Mindfulness Can Help
In the moments of feeling “good enough never is,” take a moment to practice mindfulness and offer yourself compassion.
As you practice mindfulness and you notice things that don’t sit well with you, offer yourself words of love and compassion.
What might you say to a friend in these moments? Would you speak to them harshly or would you offer kindness? Would you tear them down or would you lift them up?
As you acknowledge what is going on inside and around you remind yourself that you are enough for exactly who you are in all your flawlessness and imperfections. You matter because of the unique and wonderful person you are. You don’t matter because of what you accomplish, the family you were born into, what you wear, or what you look like!
May you learn to go from “good enough never is” to being okay with “good enough”!
A work in progress,
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